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Compassion For Brother Tinpot

Letter from Brother Abdullah

By: Hakim Hazik

All praises and salutations are for the One who rules the New World Order without let or hindrance and mostly without a partner. The One who controls the vastness of the skies and the depths of the oceans. The One whom we rely on to protect our just rule. The One who is the Lord of the Earth and the Master of Dhahran airbase. The one who gives sustenance to the 7th fleet and to the Central Command. It to the US of A that we turn to and seek help from in our hour of need.

Dear Brother Nawaz,

Please accept our greetings on the happy occasion of the holy month of Ramadan and of the holy Eid festival. Please pass our greetings to your harem and to your brother. I hear Brother Tinpot is visiting holy places in Washington and on the West Coast to give sermons to the righteous and to spread the Word. May God bless his efforts and give him the best of rewards, in this world and the other.

He did make an appearance in our court to kiss our signet ring and actually to bring to our attention that you are keen to see him brought to court on charges of rebellion and mutiny against the law of the Islamic Republic. I think, dear brother that would be a mistake. This will sow the seeds of division and disharmony among the Ummah and spread unrest and mischief among the faithful. This would only strengthen the hands of our enemies and jeopardise the tribute Prince Bandar gets from British Aerospace.

Dear Brother,

The trials of life in this world can be harsh and grim. The price of oil can fall. The flow of credit can dry up. Women can start agitating for a vote. Iran can develop nuclear weapons. Twin towers can fall. Viagra can fail. These are the real issues which are facing the Ummah. A court case against Brother Tinpot would allow us to lose focus, to lose sight of our key objectives. We need single minded devotions to the genuine causes of the Ummah.

We all know dear brother, that this world is only a transient stop on the way to eternity. The Creator is putting us through a test. We must try our best to succeed by being virtuous and obedient to his commands. The deprivations in life can be extreme, but we must learn to make sacrifices. This is what this holy month teaches us. We must reduce our fleet of Rolls Royces. We should not insist on solid gold bathroom fittings. We must learn to share our fleet of personal Boeings. We should think of the rewards that await us in the hereafter.

Of course, we want to see justice done. We are happy to see the Afghan heroin traffickers beheaded in the Holy Mosque. We are happy to arrest housewives and children from Karachi and hand them over to pious and god fearing executioners. Nobody should be above the law. This is what our great religion teaches us. But my brother, I think bringing Brother Tinpot to trial would be an extreme measure. We must not forget the importance of compassion and of moderation.

Eid Mabrouk to you and to the people of the Islamic Republic. 


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