Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

Have you heard the news? The cabinet is reshuffling. Like a pack of cards. Some peepal say that size is nat impatant. Perfarmacne is what matters. I think so, it is very big. The size should be reduced. Lazy, good for nothing ministers should be sacked. In their place good good, hard working, highly ejucated peepal should be braat, who keep the pain of the patty in their heart, who have rubbed their battams and given their bled, like myself. More...

Letter to the Queen

By: Asif Raja  

HRH The Queen

Balmoral Castle

Balleter

Scotland  

Dear Ma’am I will skip the usual apologies, as you must have guessed my opening gambit by now. I will therefore come to the subject at hand. 

As you very well know I am great admirer of the British people; an inclination which I have inherited from my forbearers. Before coming over for good, I used to highlight the greatness of the people living in these isles being paragons of virtue, free of all vices and downright honest. I also naively believed that women over here never indulged in accessories like fashion and off course never wasted a penny. “Wait till you go there”, my good old mother would reply and by God how right she was. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Your Majesty,

Please find the statement submitted to the High Court on the behalf of your brother:

It was submitted that the helicopter was used essentially to airlift life saving supplies to the remote corners of the Punjab from the world famous, Haji Fazal Din Centre of Resuscitation and Rehab, inside Taxali Gate. The life support material transported included Siri Payas, Nihari and Harisa, produced under meticulously controlled conditions, in accordance with international standards. More...

More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Let’s first establish the facts. There is little doubt that I wore them when I went to the press conference in the morning. It does require guts to face these wily journalists. You can never tell what is coming your way. By the grace of Almighty God, everything went well. I talked about the international conspiracies besetting our nation. The infiltration of RAW, MOSSAD and CIA. The shed loads of money that the enemy is spending to destabilize our state. The uncircumcised imams on enemy payroll who are taking over our mosques. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Your Exalted Highness, the Custodian of the Holy Places and the Protector of the Ummah, please accept greetings from your brother. The Land of the Pure is becoming purer and purer. The forces of moderation are killing the extremists. The extremists are killing the heretics. The heretics are killing the oppressors. The whole exercise is cleansing the society. The nation will emerge purer and fresher. It will hold its head high and be able to walk with dignity among the clean nations of the world. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

It’s official. The songs of Naseebo Lal are obscene. This is the decision of the highest court in the sacred land of the Punjab. They arouse the basest instincts in men and women of this holy land. If left to her own devices, she could play havoc with the safety and integrity of the nation. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

From the United Secretariat,

Istation Road,

Near Edgware Road Tube Istation,

London, England

I cannot under istand this. We have called or the destruction of Taliban. We have asked the army action to be istarted. We have called meetings of top Maulanas, who can certify that Talibans are enemies of Islam and can give fatwas for their islaughter. We have been the only secular, liberal party who believes in fireedom. Fireedom of belief, fireedom of ispeach, fireedom for wee men to work and tiravel.More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

To whom it may or may not concern,

Through praper channel,

(Including Geo, ARY and Aaj TV channel)

To,

Respected Keem Hazik Sahib,

JDP

Dear Sir Ji,

Most respectfully, I beg to satate,  that I ofen read your anal ices. My view pint on nashnal issues is same to same, but there are some impatant differences, which are listed underneath in a number wise fashion.More...