Letter to the Queen

By: Asif Raja

HRH

Queen Elizabeth the Second

Buckingham Palace

Central London 

Dear Ma’am, 

Sorry for not keeping my word but then we Pakistanis, a nation of many cultures now rapidly turning into a Talibo-Arabian one, were never to be trusted to keep it anyway. More...

Transcultural Dialogues

By: Hakim Hazik

Teacher Clinton: Hello children, I hope you are well. It is nice to see you after this break. I was away in Mexico. Have you all enjoyed your holidays?

Monitor Holbrooke: Yes madam. Kayani is not back yet. He has got flu.

Mrs. Clinton: O Dear, I hope it is not swine flu.

Holbrooke: No madam, although he is capable of having it, he has not got swine flu. What he has is called Swat flu. Dr Mullen says it can cause a deadly pandemic. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Praise be to God, whose rule has been established in the valley and soon will be established in that capital of sin and rebellion, Islamabad. The infidels and hypocrites have been expelled from the valley of the faithful. Those who transgress against the rules of God will soon be exterminated. Those who trample upon the divine laws will be trampled upon in turn. Those who stick their neck out will have their throats slit. Sovereignty belongs to one True God, the beneficent, the merciful. More...

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Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Islamabad is a federal territory. It is the capital of the largest country of the Ummah. All citizens of the federation have a claim on its real estate. All citizens of the Ummah have a claim on its real estate. More...

By: Omar Ali 

I recently went on a road trip across the North-Eastern United States and at every stop, the Pakistanis I met were talking about the situation in Pakistan. As is usually the case, everyone seemed to have their own pet theory, but for a change ALL theories shared at least two characteristics: they were all pessimistic in the short term and none of them believed the “official version” of events. Since there seems to be no consensus about the matter, a friend suggested that I should summarize the main theories I heard and circulate that document, asking for comments. I hope your comments will clarify things even if this document does not. So here, in no particular order, are the theories. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Dear male members of the Ummah, greetings from Islamabad.

The Ummah has woken up at last. I am very pleased to inform that the writ of the state is now firmly established. I mean the writ of the state of Swat over Islamabad. We have no quarrels with the west, as long as it submits to flogging. We will welcome international assistance in the area of flogging. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Dear Colleagues,

We are gathered here today to celebrate the unprecedented achievements of our valiant armed forces but also to take stock of the serious challenges facing the nation. I am very pleased to announce that our armed forces acting with great courage, determination, foresight and self sacrifice have established 20 marriage halls up and down the country. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

4^th Prail is a black day in the history of Pakustan. Sheed Chairman Zulafkar Ali Bhutto was killed by qatil Ziaulhaq. Young peepal from Pakustan Peepal Patty, like myself, were taken to Shahi Qila and flogged by dictator, same to same as young peepal in Swat are being flogged by Maulvi Fazlulla. I don’t think so that Ziaulhaq was killed by Mreeka or by the army. He was killed by God. Maulvi Fazlulla will  also be killed by God. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Martyrdom is not a turkey shoot. Let me make this absolutely clear. Turkeys are turkeys and martyrs are martyrs. Turkeys cannot by martyrs and more importantly, martyrs cannot be turkeys. It would be a mistake to confuse the two. And no, Liberty and Manawan do not make a turkey sandwich. More...