Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

For one thing, I am fed up with Miansab. He has gone into rut again.  Judge, judge, judge. He thinks that we are owl’s muscles. Even a tanga walla on Mcloroad knows what he really wants. He says he wants Ftikhar Chory Saab to be put back into his seat. Inside inside, he wants his own behind in the prime minister’s seat. Who are you grazing sir ji? More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Pakistan is a country of outstanding natural beauty. It has a sprawling, languid coastline, ideal for conducting gun running operations; some of the world’s highest mountains, home to world’s leading financiers and public intellectuals, such as Mr Bin Laden and Mr Al Zawahiri; metropolitan cities with world class hotels, ideally suited for truck bombing. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

We would be very honoured to have the pleasure of you company in the annual dinner of the Association. We look forward to a wonderful programme of glamour and glitz, fun and entertainment through the course of the evening, at the Campaign headquarters of Mingora. One of the main attractions will be live executions by means of beheading, shooting and lynching of the leading arts and educational figures from the local community. These remarkable individuals have been specially nominated by the Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan, our partners in good governance. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Your Most Exalted Excellency, the Radiant Presence, the centre and the focus of my worship, the Mother and the Father of the Nation, welcome to the President’s house. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

With the support of the brave Israeli population and the help of the international community, we have entered the 17^th day of the Operation Gaza. Over 900 Palestinian terrorists are dead. Only 1.5 million to go. Very soon we will achieve everlasting peace in Gaza. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

Sale sale sale....Loot Christmas clearance sale...

Come one come all. Young and old, men and women.  A once in a lifetime opportunity to buy modern weaponry going cheap.

Buy the unrivalled Marine Corps laser aiming device, essential for the serious sniper; or the Kentucky Rehab Industries attack boots, ideal for lightning raids into Nangarhar to slaughter the infidel. Also available, high quality bullet proof vests, suitable for martyrdom operations in the Swat Valley. State of the art, Special Operations Services wireless fitted into the camouflage headgear, will greatly help in co-coordinating attacks on the government installations. More...

از

حکیم حاذق 

 

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Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik  

Dear General Kayani Sahib, Emir of the armies of the Faith, may the shadow of the Almighty envelop you; Dear General Pasha Sahib, may good luck and auspicious prospects favour you; Dear Hafiz Saeed Sahib, my guardian, benefactor, teacher and leader, may the Almighty allow me to be the dust under your blessed feet forever. Please accept my greetings More...

Transcultural Dialogues

By: Hakim Hazik 

Trrrrrrn Trrrrrrrn. 

Operator: ‘Presidency; how can I help you?’ 

Caller: I wonder if I can speak to the president please. 

Operator: He is spending some quality time with his bank statements. Do you think it could wait till morning? 

Caller: I am afraid it is urgent. If it is not too inconvenient, can you please tell him that it is Videsh Mantri, Pranab Telephone Mukherjee from the South Block and I want to discuss limited nuclear war. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik 

The winters in Peshawar can be quite chilly. If you consider the frequent power and gas outages, the good citizens of Peshawar had a particularly harsh winter this year. It could have been worse if it was not due to a group of highly public spirited individuals, who were blessed with courage, determination, a sense of purpose, kerosene oil and a box of matches, and set the NATO convoy on fire. More...