Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

The pious corps commanders have expressed in categorical terms that we will not take dictation from Satan and Admiral Mullen any more. We should declare that our sovereignty is supreme and inviolable, surrendered only to God and men of God such as Aiman al Zawahiri. We should return the nineteen dollars ninety nine, we had borrowed in good faith from the USA due to temporary cash flow problems. We should rely on our own resources. We should squeeze our population till the pips squeak. We should pray to Allah, the Sovereign of the universe and sustainer of the GDP. More...

 Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

Imam ul Ummat, the chosen of God and the leader of the faithful, Sheikh Mikhael Timofeyevich Kalashnikov was born in the sacred region of Altai, in the Vilayat of Russia in 1919. He saw action on the Western front, against the infidel Panzer division, which led to confusion and catastrophe in the legions of the Faith. He retired therefore to his Black Sea dacha to ponder over the grave challenges facing the Ummah. After deep reflection and intense meditation, he was led by the God Almighty to the path of success and salvation. He became the inventor of the AK 47 sub machine gun.  More...

 Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

A vicious campaign has been launched to malign the mother of all agencies and against the father of all strategic deterrents. We must fight with determination to protect both. We must start with eating grass and move swiftly to snakes and lizards, with which the Almighty has blessed this land of bounty. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

As the fifth columnists and fellow travelers and online journalists are identified and eliminated one by one by the International Sensitive Agency in a sensitive and humane manner, there is one question that comes up again and again. This is the major question facing the Ummah today. Is Ijaz Butt circumcised? There are other questions such as: Is he actually Ijaz Butt? We do not give credence to the rumours that he is actually Abida Parveen in drag. More...

 Tuzk e Jahangiri

By: Hakim Hazik

I am very sad today. I am crying. They have tacked the Suzuki Mehran Base and killed innocent innocent peepal and destroyed the Orions we loved so much, on which we had spent so much money. With this money the Shriek Chairman could have baught at least ten thousand Qingchis and opened at least three counts in Sweezerland. 

Shriek Chairman has gan to Mascow. He has seen the Sukhois. He has ridden in the Ladas. Shahsab has gan to Peeking. He has seen the janyan madels of Qingchis and given the Cheeni brathers the punkha which they are going to change into the helicapter once again. Our determination as a nation should nat be underestimated. Democracy is the best revenge.  More...

Hamid Ateeq

امریکہ نال لڑ بیٹھے آں

پوچھل شیر دی پھڑ بیٹھے آں

گدڑ چوکیدار بٹھا کے

باندر لیڈر کر بیٹھے آں

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 Letter to Brother Abdullah

By: Hakim Hazik

Dear Sahib-Al-Naft, Jalalat-ul-Carbon, please accept greetings from your brother and salutations from your bhabi.

Your Majesty, I must pay tribute to yourself and the whole Aal e Naft for the immense contribution made to the renaissance of the Ummah. You have not only turned the land of oil and sand into the land of milk and honey, but also made it the scientific and cultural capital of the world. More...

 Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

We have all gathered here today to honor the late OBL, academic, exegete and professor of asymmetric warfare at the PMA Kakool. He has become a legend in death, as he was in life. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

By: Hakim Hazik

One of the pleasing aspects of the growth of democracy in Pakistan is the empowerment of those communities who have been at the margin of the society. 

No no, don’t take me wrong. I do not mean the politicians. I am not saying that the power has been devolved, God forbid, from the GHQ to the parliament; that of course cannot be allowed in an Islamic polity and would be against the principals and strongly held values of the Republic. It would be against the Holy Book and the Objectives Resolution and would be an attack on the ideology of Pakistan. We cannot allow our society to be polluted by decadent ideas which the liberal secular fascists steal from the west and then try to use them to promote their agenda of dismemberment of Pakistan. More...

By:Mohammad Ayub

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