Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

New evidence is emerging that the brutal murder of the peacock in Jati Umra is linked to the disappearance of the flight MH370 . A satellite over the Pak Nationalist Ocean, (formerly called the Indian Ocean) has picked up a signal from Gajju Matta, suggesting that the deceased peacock was romantically involved with Rana Sana Ullah. If confirmed, this will lead to the uncovering of the biggest aviation crime in history. More...

By: Dr. Uzma Saeed

In a letter to Sufi Ghulam Mustafa Tabassum Iqbal wrote, ‘I have spent most of my life in the study of Western Philosophy, and its perspectives have become second nature for me; intentionally or unintentionally I study the facts of Islam from the same viewpoint (Khutbat-e-Iqbal by Justice Javed Iqbal).

The entire focus of Iqbal’s work was on articulating the Western philosophical and scientific insights in terms of customary Islamic discourse in order to persuade his Muslim audience that the change, progress and innovation in religious thought were legitimate and consistent with Islamic principles. Iqbal’s thought was informed by Western philosophical perspectives, developments in natural and cognitive sciences in the West as well as Muslim and Eastern philosophical thought. However, Iqbal never followed the ideas of another thinker or school of thought passively in their entirety. His mind sought a synthesis and he sounded out what he thought was good and relevant from the untenable and outdated ideas of all thinkers whether Eastern, Western, Muslim or Indian. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

After burning the midnight oil and undertaking arduous journeys to the holy land our financial wizard has cracked it. He had the 1.5 billion under his Ahram when he went to the Haram Sharif form Riyadh. Therefore, the dollars are halal and blessed by the Imam of Kaaba and Allah SWT. We can use them to fill all the stadia in the Republic and smash the Guinness book record by making the biggest flag of Khurasan the world has ever seen. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

Nahmaduhu wa nusalli ala...

Praise be to Allah who created the broiler chicken which can be grilled to provide high value and low cholesterol nourishment to the faithful. Glory be to the master of the universe who allowed the halal calories to accumulate in the staid bottoms of the scholars of Islam, so that they can fill the pious chairs of the CII and can sift chaff from the kernels and truth from mischief. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

Alhamdulillah, all the stakeholders are on the same page. Together, we will drive a stake through the heart of the liberal fascism and the foreign inspired secularism. The two negotiating committees met on a nihari breakfast and discussed the serious issues facing the nation such as women’s kabaddi and Jamshed Dasti. The committee noted with satisfaction that the wild tigers, inspired by the BJP and infiltrating across the Sialkot border have been shot and their pelts sent to Raiwind. Imran Khan has said that the Americans do not want peace in Pakistan. More...

Muddassar Bashir

Translation:

Muttahir Ahmed Khan

Hundreds of moons and the stars once rose;

And twinkled for many a night.

Hundreds of eyes I have that saw,

Whole worlds vanishing from sight.

(Mushtaq Sufi)

 More...

Letter to Brother Abdullah

Hakim Hazik

Dear Brother Abdullah,

The Emir of the Army of the Faithful came to see Yours Truly. Alhamdu Lillah, by the Grace of God we have bombed the hideouts of infidels who hold partners with God and are instrument of infamy and agents of Satan, the Rejected, the Accursed.  More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

Imran  Khan has blood on his hands. The political leaders have played into the hands of the RAW / CIA lobby by talking to the banned terrorist murderous organisation of TTP. The finest army in the world has been reduced to suffer casualties and watch from the sidelines as the American helicopters evacuated TTP fighters from Waziristan and took them to Bagram so that they have their feet massaged by the 72 virginal GIs. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

We are Muslims and every Muslim is passionate about Shariah. The majority of Pakistanis are Sunni Hanfis—theirs’ is the best system and no one should oppose it. Non-Muslims also need not fear the Shariah as Islam protects their rights. More...

Extraordinary Rendition

Hakim Hazik

All we want is the rule of sharia in the country. If that is implemented, peace will prevail and the war will come to an end. The Emir ul Momineen, Maulana Fazlullah will descend from the Hindukush mountains on his noble white steed and will address the nation on FM radio. He will behead the heads of the NGOs and distribute sewing machines among Mrs. Mazari and Mrs. Qasuri so that she can contribute to the GDP from the security of their own homes. The remains of the enemies of Islam will be dug up and be displayed in the public thoroughfares. Rebellious women will be held down by pious men and flogged in accordance with the injunctions of the holy sharia. More...